Timeline

I always thought I would have a timeline, but as I now see -- that is not an option.

Some days are better than others and some days are purely awful. I had this "timeline" and my head and I lost all of that and I don't know what "timeline" I should have now. I still don't have what I thought I would have. No baby and yet no pregnancy that will result in bringing a baby home just yet.

Allen had previously said that he didn't want to be "old" when we had a child...Well, he is sadly mistaken...he is going to be what he considers "old" by the time we have a child (I am being optimistic - I know one day we'll have a little one to care for).

I am big planner -- and well, I have been shown that I need throw plans out the door, because what I had timed in my head isn't what God has planned and timed for us.

I need to look forward and continue with that....and shove the timeline out the door.

I am no longer looking at the "closed" area -- I am looking forward to what doors will open for us. One day, we'll get there...