Finding out that day at the hospital that Kaycee was coming early was quite the shock. She was on her way and there was no stopping it. It turns out, I was sick and that caused my labor. 4 months too early. The day she was due was estimated to be February 27, 2007...October 27, 2007 she made her appearance into this world…but, she was too young and small to survive.
Knowing that I would give birth and Kaycee not having a chance to make it - broke my heart. I don’t know that my heart ever will mend completely. Kaycee was born at 11:11pm. Have you heard, the saying: “It’s 11:11 - make a wish!” How ironic - my wish came to me at that particular time.
Holding her in my hands - feeling her little arms and legs, counting her fingers and checking out her toes - I had wished I would never have to let her go. I wanted to keep her forever.
I will always keep her with me and I know she is always with me - The Best and Beautiful Things are Felt with the Heart - I feel her everyday.
Kaycee’s birthday approaches rather quickly…she would have been 1 year old.
Happy Birthday baby girl.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day
It's been some time since I was here last...I need to change that.
So today, October 15th is the day we remember those little ones that we have lost. I will be lighting a candle at 7pm in rememberance of my little girl Kaycee and the other babies that we have lost.
http://www.october15th.com/
I even bought a special candle (not really anything special - just a Glade candle I picked up and haven't burned yet.) that I will light. I am saving the candle my friend Sara gave to light on Kaycee's birthday. How ironic that she was born in October - The month that is considered: Pregnancy and Infant Loss month.
I miss you baby girl.
So today, October 15th is the day we remember those little ones that we have lost. I will be lighting a candle at 7pm in rememberance of my little girl Kaycee and the other babies that we have lost.
http://www.october15th.com/
I even bought a special candle (not really anything special - just a Glade candle I picked up and haven't burned yet.) that I will light. I am saving the candle my friend Sara gave to light on Kaycee's birthday. How ironic that she was born in October - The month that is considered: Pregnancy and Infant Loss month.
I miss you baby girl.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The Best and Most Beautiful Things
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. A quote by Hellen Keller.
How true this is...My daughter is beautiful and I am not able to touch her or see her...I can only touch her and see her in pictures and in my memories.
The day I found out I was pregnant - I was over the moon. I knew I was pregnant before testing...I just knew it in my heart. And I also that this baby was a girl. My mind, immediately was racing with all kinds of plans for the future!! I was excited and so was Allen. We were going to be parents to a "human"! We are already parents to 2 beautiful girls: Penny (Golden Retriever) and Matilda (English Bulldog). Allen couldn't wait to share the news with everyone, he wanted to shout it from the roof tops! I was a bit reserved, but just as excited.
We found out on Father's Day 2007 - that is when I got my first faint result on a Wal-Mart cheap pregnancy test. I tested a couple of days later with a digital and it gave us the clear answer.
I walked on air for days, hell months! I so happy with life and how things were going for us! We made plans for names for a boy or girl...but, I knew in my heart even at 5 weeks pregnant that I was carrying a girl. I looked at baby clothes, I looked at strollers, bedding, cribs, etc! I am big planner so, I was really excited about of this baby planning! I looked forward to the days ahead of us - I was such a happy person!
October 3, 2007: We had our big ultrasound! Allen, my mom and his mom all went with me to the appt. We saw that the baby was indeed a girl! My thoughts: I get to name her Kaycee!!!! I could have cried! I named my daughter after my grandfather. His name is Kit Carson, and he went by K.C. for short. My heart swelled. My little girl. Kaycee.
How true this is...My daughter is beautiful and I am not able to touch her or see her...I can only touch her and see her in pictures and in my memories.
The day I found out I was pregnant - I was over the moon. I knew I was pregnant before testing...I just knew it in my heart. And I also that this baby was a girl. My mind, immediately was racing with all kinds of plans for the future!! I was excited and so was Allen. We were going to be parents to a "human"! We are already parents to 2 beautiful girls: Penny (Golden Retriever) and Matilda (English Bulldog). Allen couldn't wait to share the news with everyone, he wanted to shout it from the roof tops! I was a bit reserved, but just as excited.
We found out on Father's Day 2007 - that is when I got my first faint result on a Wal-Mart cheap pregnancy test. I tested a couple of days later with a digital and it gave us the clear answer.
I walked on air for days, hell months! I so happy with life and how things were going for us! We made plans for names for a boy or girl...but, I knew in my heart even at 5 weeks pregnant that I was carrying a girl. I looked at baby clothes, I looked at strollers, bedding, cribs, etc! I am big planner so, I was really excited about of this baby planning! I looked forward to the days ahead of us - I was such a happy person!
October 3, 2007: We had our big ultrasound! Allen, my mom and his mom all went with me to the appt. We saw that the baby was indeed a girl! My thoughts: I get to name her Kaycee!!!! I could have cried! I named my daughter after my grandfather. His name is Kit Carson, and he went by K.C. for short. My heart swelled. My little girl. Kaycee.
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